


the things i leave behind like footsteps

by orsumfenix



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Other, Suicide Attempt, au where they don't die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-13
Updated: 2015-11-14
Packaged: 2018-05-01 11:54:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5204930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orsumfenix/pseuds/orsumfenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In one universe, Asriel and Chara lived.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Human

When your mother takes Chara’s knife off them, they don’t cope too well.

They’ve always gotten this _face_ , right before they’re about to use it – where their nose scrunches slightly and their mouth turns down at the edges. You’ve learned to recognise it by now, and you shouldn’t be surprised when Chara continues to make this face even though their knife is gone.

They just use their fingernails instead.

You don’t even notice for a couple days. You and your mother both assumed, stupidly, that once they had nothing to hurt themselves with Chara would stop. You were wrong. You realise this when you catch Chara in the kitchen one day, ransacking the draws for knives, and upon finding none they simply drop to the floor and use their fingernails to scrape at their arms.

Chara doesn’t notice you. You think that you should probably leave. But they’re scaring you and you want them to stop but you’re so bad at things like this, you never know what to say, and you don’t want to make Chara feel worse, so you scurry off to find your mother.

She _does_ know what to do.

Toriel walks calmly over to Chara, who’s still got their eyes squeezed tight and is still scraping their fingernails, though you think they’re probably exhausted because the attempt is half-hearted at best.

You don’t hear what she says, but whatever words are softly spoken to Chara must work because they seem to calm down slightly. You watch with wide eyes as they drop their hands into their lap, and your mother asks permission before she picks them up.

You think that you should probably go _now_ , but Chara’s eyes crack open as your mother carries them into the living room and you recognise the pleading look they are sending. And so you follow quietly, trying not to move too fast and startle Chara, and when your mother places them gently on the sofa you curl up beside them.

It’s instinct, by now, to want to be close to Chara. Physically, that is, though you won’t deny that you _love_ being Chara’s best friend.

“Chara,” your mother says after a few minutes, addressing the warm body by your side. Chara shifts slightly. Your mother breathes out. She seems calm, though you know she’s probably as stressed as you are. “I’m not going to ask why, but – do.” She stops, and restarts. “Do you know anything that would help?”

Chara looks uncomfortable, and they bite their lip hard enough to draw blood. You watch, and the sinking feeling in your gut returns. You wonder if Chara will ever be better. Probably not.

“…My hands,” they say after a couple moments, fingers twiddling together. “I just – they feel itchy.”

You’re not quite sure what Chara means and you think that Toriel isn’t, either, but she just nods in an understanding way.

“Maybe you could find a hobby,” she suggests, smiling warmly. “Something to keep your fingers busy.”

“Like what?” Chara asks, louder, and they seem more like themself than before and it comforts you.

Your mother pauses.

“I can think of a few,” she states, a thoughtful look in her eye. “Cooking, painting, knitting… Just choose one and I’ll help you.”

You think that suggesting cooking is probably not the best idea, since knives are involved, and you hope that Chara doesn’t pick up on the same idea and choose cooking specifically because of that.

You expect that they might choose painting – they were ever so proud of the flower drawing they did, and you wouldn’t be surprised if they wanted to dip the paintbrush in red paint and splatter it all over the canvas.

The option you least expect them to pick is the one they take.

“Knitting sounds nice,” they announce, and you blink with shock. Your mother just nods.

“I can teach you,” she offers, then her gaze turns to you. “What about you, Asriel? Would you like me to teach you knitting, too?”

You hesitate before responding; you don’t know if Chara wants this to be _their_ thing, or if they’ll even wat you there, but then beside you Chara lets a small grin onto their face, and you know the answer.

“Um,” you say, “I’ll try.”

 

00

 

Chara just _takes_ to knitting in the way you just _don’t_.

Once Toriel has shown you how, they copy her demonstration like they’ve been doing it for years, needles moving at lightning speed while they stare with an intense concentration. You, meanwhile, awkwardly fumble with your needles, moving slowly and taking extra care not to make a mistake. Chara doesn’t even look at you.

“No, dear, like this,” your mother says gently, reaching over and adjusting your grip on the needles. You flush slightly and glance at Chara’s work out the corner of your eye. They’re already doing so well. Their nimble and agile fingers move flawlessly, even at a fast speed, while your own clumsy ones take an age to even complete one loop.

You’re pleased for Chara, though. They seem to have found something that they like, and it’s not anything that could harm them.

You blanch for a moment as a vision of Chara sticking their needles into their hand floats into your mind, but you dispel the thought almost immediately.

A few hours later, and you haven’t made much progress. Chara has already done astonishingly well, especially considering that they’ve never done it before, and you try to comfort yourself with the thought that knitting needles were made for humans, with their slim fingers, and not monsters like you, with their big clumsy ones.

When it’s time for bed, your mother smiles at Chara and asks if they like knitting.

They nod.

 

00

 

You and Chara begin to knit on a regular basis, though you remain bad at it. Chara’s a natural, and your mother is able to teach them how to make different types of things with ease. They pick it up as soon as she’s said it, whereas you are still stuck on the basics.

Your ‘lessons’ with your mother are more Chara whizzing ahead while you slowly clank your needles together while Toriel corrects your work. You blush every time she has to adjust your grip or unravel a part that’s gone wrong, but Chara never looks over.

Chara knits outside of the lessons, too. You know why, though neither of you talk about it – because if they didn’t keep their hands distracted with knitting, then their fingers would subconsciously seek out a knife.

You’ll do anything to stop that happening.

Toriel leaves the two of you one day, sitting side by side on the sofa as you knit. You’re starting to get the hang of it – _slowly_ – and have started to try and make something. You think that Chara’s trying to make something, too, though you’re not very sure what it is.

You glance over, and note how flawless theirs is.

“Your sweater looks good,” you offer self-consciously, because you can actually _tell_ that Chara’s knitting a sweater even if it’s not finished, and you think that if you didn’t know what you were knitting then you’d have no clue.

“Thanks,” Chara answers distractedly, glancing at your own progress out the corner of their eye. “I like your… sock?”

“Scarf,” you correct, flushing. Yes, yours is terrible. Chara at least looks a little guilty.

“Scarf, right.” They are silent for a couple seconds, eyes focused on the sweater that they’re making, before they sigh and shoot a look at you. “This sweater, that I’m making… I’ve made it look like yours.” They bite their lip, actually looking nervous. Rare for Chara. “Is that okay?”

You don’t even pause before beaming.

“Of course it’s okay,” you reassure genuinely. “Now we can wear matching best friend sweaters.”

“Yeah,” Chara mutters, head turning to the side. “We can.”

You can see a smile tugging at the corner of their lips.

When your mother enters later, she takes one look at Chara’s sweater before smiling.

“Oh, Chara, that’s wonderful,” she encourages. “How far are you?”

“Almost finished,” they answer, cheeks going even redder than usual. “I’m gonna wear it when I’m done.”

You and Toriel both smile.

 

00

 

When your father sees Chara wearing their new sweater, and learns that they made it themself, he beams and laughs.

“It’s wonderful,” he declares, fluffing Chara’s hair and smiling and they flush. “I had no idea you were so talented at knitting!”

You watch as Chara gets an idea.

You end up sitting with Chara as they work during the day and stay up late at night intensely knitting, talking to them and keeping them company. It takes them a whole four days to finally finish the bright pink sweater, embroider a message on the front, and drag you with them to give it to Asgore.

Your dad looks so _happy_ when he sees it – he laughs heartily and informs that he will put it on immediately, and even you slightly doubt it until he returns from his bedroom wearing the huge pink sweater.

Chara goes pink themself, and they look as though they may already be regretting the idea of making it, but you brush your hand against their arm and when their gaze falls on yours you smile, and Chara is reassured.

They still flush whenever Asgore wears the sweater, though. Which is always.

You want to do something nice for your dad, too. Toriel usually makes him butterscotch pies, his favourite, and so you get a wonderful idea.

You ask Chara to help you make the pie, and they agree. The two of you walk into the garden, hand in hand, to collect the buttercups, and you think that maybe Chara might get better, after all.

 

00

 

You didn’t know that the buttercups were poisonous.

Your dad doesn’t die, but he almost does.

Chara has a plan.

You don’t like it.

 

00

 

Chara eats the flowers. You watch them do it with shaking hands and you wonder how they’re so calm about this when you’re seconds away from screaming, but before you can back out they’ve already managed to swallow a mouthful.

You’re crying, and you worry that Chara’s going to call you a cry-baby until you notice that they’re crying, too.

They get so sick so fast, and next thing you know they’re lying in Toriel’s bed, moaning and crying and bleeding and clutching their stomach. They talk about flowers, and you don’t know whether they’re putting it on for the plan or whether there’s something genuine mixed up in there.

You’re not ready – you’re not ready for this, you’re not ready to lose Chara, and you don’t care what they say about joining souls because you know that you _will lose Chara_. You’re not ready to leave, you’re not ready for Chara to die – to die so _brutally_ – and…

And because you’re not ready, you won’t let it happen.

You tell your mother and father about the buttercups.

 

00

 

You don’t lose Chara, but you might as well have done because they won’t speak to you. Your mother and father had rushed to their aid and given them the known cure, and Chara quickly forgave them because they hadn’t promised to let them go, but you _had_ and they are so, _so_ angry.

You sit with them, and they won’t look at you. Chara turns their head away whenever their red, _red_ eyes catch even a glance of you, and it _hurts_ , but not nearly as much as it would hurt if Chara was actually gone.

You’re so glad that they’re not.

 

00

 

Chara doesn’t speak to you for five weeks.

It’s a lonely five weeks, in which you eventually take to speaking to Chara even though you can’t tell if they’re even listening. Even though they never reply.

After a week of silence, you go to your mother, and ask for her help. She agrees, and she gently guides your fingers until you are good enough at knitting to make Chara a sweater. It’s pretty much identical to the one they made themself, and it’s not as well-done, but it’s thicker and warmer and you take it to them on the third week.

“It’s a sweater,” you tell them at their questioning look. They’re looking at you, now, even though they still won’t speak. You’re not sure if you’re glad or not. You shift uncomfortably, cheeks flushing. “I know it’s not as good as the one you made, but it’s warmer, and… I’ve seen you shivering, sometimes.”

Chara looks away.

You leave disappointed, but when you come back a day later they’re wearing the sweater you made, even though it’s not as good as the one that came before it.

Despite Chara’s lack of words, you are happy enough to smile.

 

00

 

On the fourth week, you bring Chara their knitting materials. They still don’t say anything, but they grip the needles like they’re their lifeline and you think that you’ve made the right choice.

 

00

 

Five weeks after Chara ate the buttercups, and they break their silence to you. Due to the circumstances, you almost wish that they’d _stayed_ silent.

Because you walk in to find Chara’s knitting needles stuck in their leg.

You stare at the needles for a few seconds, uncomprehending, although your subconscious obviously gets it because your eyes are already filling with tears and you sniffle. This is all your fault, it dawns on you. You gave Chara their needles back. You should have known that they’d do something like this.

“Stop crying,” a voice demands from the bed – a voice you haven’t heard in five weeks. Your eyes focus on Chara’s face to see that they’re both frowning and scowling at once. “You’re such a wimp, Asriel.”

“I -” and what can you say to that, really? Chara’s right, you know they are. They aren’t even crying.

Your eyes keep focusing on their legs, where the needles are till jammed firmly in and it’s making you feel _sick_ , why do _keep looking at it_.

You swallow and sniffle and force your eyes back up to meet Chara’s. Tears are running down their face.

“You’re crying too,” you point out, voice funny because your throat is clogged. Chara huffs.

“I’m _allowed_ to cry,” they state, and their own voice has gone weird from the crying. You almost crack a smile, but you just can’t bring your lips to do it. “I’m the one who’s hurt. _You’re_ not hurt. Why are you crying, Asriel?”

You hate it when they get like this. You hate it when they act cold, even though you _know_ that they care and they’re just trying to hide it by pretending that they don’t.

“Because I don’t like seeing you hurt,” you finally sniff out, and turn away from that _awful_ sight. Your next words are quiet. “I’ll go get mum and dad.”

 

00

 

As expected, your mother and father are displeased and worried and angry all at once.

Though you never talk about it, the entire family knows why Chara climbed the mountain that day. You all know that Chara jumped, not fell, and that they didn’t expect to still be alive when they reached the bottom.

You all know about the thoughts that they have, about how pain makes them feel, and you never discuss it but you all try and do your very best to help Chara – to help them realise that they _are_ a good person (though you’re not so sure on that, yourself, sometimes), and that if they feel bad then they don’t have to make things worse to feel better.

You think that your parents are better at it than you.

You watch as from the doorway as Asgore gently pries the knitting needles from Chara’s leg and Toriel attempts to calm them down, holding their small hands in her own large ones, and all you can feel is guilt that you didn’t help.

It should be Chara who feels guilty, not you, you think spitefully for a second, but then you just feel even more awful because you _know_ they feel guilty and you know that they’re hurting and how could you _ever_ have thought such a terrible thing?

You slip away from the doorway to go and hide in your room.

 

00

 

Chara does get better.

They seem to forgive and forget about the whole thing almost as soon as the knitting needles are out of their leg and they’ve been treated. The next time you go and see them they smile and chat with you as though they haven’t been avoiding doing just that for five whole weeks.

You still feel sick.

“Asriel,” they say as you sit with them. “Do I look better?”

You’re not sure what to say to that.

Certainly, Chara’s cheeks are back to their usual flush, and their hair is more orderly, and they are still wearing the sweater that you made them. But they still don’t look a hundred percent, and you saw knitting needles jammed in their leg the other day and you don’t think that you’re ever going to get that image out of your head.

You shuffle.

“…Yeah,” you say after a moment. “Yeah, you do.”

“Good,” Chara replies, satisfied, though they narrow their eyes slightly like they don’t quite believe you. “What’s wrong?”

You don’t want to answer, but if there’s anyone in this world that you trust, it’s Chara.

“You were hurt,” you say quietly. “You keep hurting yourself. I don’t understand _why_.”

Chara gets an odd look on their face, and turns away.

“…You _wouldn’t_ understand,” they mutter, frown marring their features. “Why would you? You’ve never had any reason to feel this way. Down here a monster is a monster, and you all look different.”

“What do you…?” you start, trailing off. Chara turns back to face you, scowling.

“Nothing. It doesn’t matter. Let’s talk about something else. How about the Absolute God of Hyperdeath?”

On the one hand, Chara is clearly upset, _clearly_ needs help, and is clearly just pushing your buttons the way they’ve always been able to. On the other hand, if there’s one thing you’re always up for talking about, it’s the Absolute God of Hyperdeath.

You grin excitedly. Chara grins slightly and pats the bed beside them; you climb on without hesitation. Chara sits curled up beside you as you start to blabber on about the latest attack you came up with. They smile at you the entire time.

 

00

 

You and Chara go through the next few years without talking about the ‘Buttercup Incident’. You remain terrible at knitting and Chara remains fantastic at it. Your parents talk to Chara privately, sometimes – you think it’s about the knitting needles thing, but you’re not too sure. There are some things even Chara doesn’t tell you.

You avoid talking about it, and everything is fine.

Until another human falls underground.


	2. The Aqua Girl

There is another human.

You find out when the whispers of the kingdom reach the ears of the palace. There is another human, and she’s fallen down into the Ruins, and she’s making her way here.

When Chara hears the news, they go pale and excuse themself to your shared room. Before they hurry out, they look like they’re going to throw up. You don’t blame them. You haven’t met any humans other than Chara, but from what you’ve heard – the others aren’t good.

Not that Chara’s _great_ , but the stories you’ve heard about humans on the whole have given you nightmares for years.

 

00

 

It takes the human two days to get to the castle. That’s two days of you sitting next to Chara as they glare down at their knitting, shoulder leaning heavily into yours but not looking at you.

You’re not quite sure how to feel.

Chara’s fingers shake as they knit. You try not to stare too blatantly and upset Chara, but you don’t have to be watching to hear the needles clinking together a bit more often than they should. You also hear Chara breathe out in frustration more often than usual, with their work getting all tangled up.

You talk to try and calm them down. What starts as a casual mention of the Absolute God of Hyperdeath evolves into a whole spiel by you with Chara grinning at you. It relaxes you, seeing Chara smile, because if they can dredge up the energy for a smile then surely they must be _somewhat_ okay.

Their smile fades when a guard shows up at the door to tell you that the human has arrived.

Chara’s expression goes dark and they look away from you, hunching their shoulders slightly. They’re feeling upset, and you’re not surprised. You don’t know what it was like for them, on the surface, but you know why they climbed that mountain and you know that it wasn’t good.

You open your mouth to say something to them – you’re not sure what. Maybe reassurance, maybe to ask if they’re okay, but Chara interrupts you before you can begin.

“Just go, Asriel,” they say. “Go see the human.”

You’re reluctant to leave, but if Chara doesn’t want you there then you can’t really do anything to help, and so you slowly stand up.

You squeeze their hand before you go, and you see the faintest smile painted on their lips.

 

00

 

You’re not sure how you expected the human to look – like Chara, you suppose. You know that humans look more similar than monsters, and while the girl’s basic anatomy is the same, lots of things are very different.

She has red hair, for one, tied into a long braid with a ribbon. Freckles are splashed over her cheeks. She’s all knees and elbows and aqua eyes, and when she sees you she lets out a much easier smile than Chara’s ever given.

You notice that she’s carrying a knife, and briefly wonder if all humans are like Chara when it comes to _that_ , before you realise that it’s a toy one. Chara’s is very much real.

“Um, wow. You’re… a goat,” the girl says, and you blink. You vaguely remember Chara saying something similar the first time they saw you, and a pang of nostalgia runs through you. You’d forgotten how wide-eyed Chara had been when they first got here. “Are you the prince?”

“Yeah,” you answer, smiling. “I’m Asriel. Have the monsters told you about me?”

She nods, still smiling.

“They said there’s another human here,” she mentions excitedly, and your heart sinks. She wants to meet Chara. “They said that you know them.”

“Chara? Oh, yeah. We’re… close.”

“Where are they?” she asks, looking around as though expecting them to show up any second. “Can I meet them?”

You sigh. This isn’t going to end well for her, if she thinks Chara’s going to want to be her friend.

“Chara isn’t feeling too well at the moment,” you explain, which isn’t _too_ much of a lie. The girl’s face falls, and you instantly feel bad. “But I’m sure when they feel better they’ll want to meet you,” you falsely encourage, but the smile that she gives you just makes you feel worse.

 

00

 

You are there when they tell her that she can’t go home.

“I’m sorry, my child,” Asgore says, and you watch the girl’s whole body droop. “I know that you were expecting to pass through the Barrier.”

She wipes at her cheeks and sniffs, forcing a smile.

“I should’ve known,” she chokes out. “Why else would the other human still be here?”

You think that even if they Chara _had_ been able to go back, they wouldn’t have gone, but you stay silent.

“You can stay with us for as long as you’d like,” Toriel offers, and you turn your head sharply to her. Chara won’t like that. “We understand that this must be very difficult for you.”

You turn your head back to the girl. _Say no_ , you think, and you know that it’s cruel but your loyalty is to Chara first and foremost and you know that this – _this_ is not someone who should be around Chara.

 _Say no_.

“Okay,” the girl says, and you let out a mental scream. “I’ll stay.”

 

00

 

“Chara?”

You know they’re inside your room. You know because you can hear their breathing, the steady _click click click_ of knitting needles, the slight shifting of someone on the bed. They’re inside the room, but they won’t answer you.

“Chara?” You pause, listening for an answer. You receive none. “Can I come in?”

No reply. Not that you were expecting one.

You bite your lip. Either Chara doesn’t want you to come in, or they do and just don’t want to admit it. Neither option would surprise you.

You take a breath and grab the handle.

“I’m going to come in unless you tell me not to,” you say, still waiting for Chara to answer. They still don’t. “I’ll come in in twenty seconds. Just… if you don’t want me to, say something.”

You try to be calm as you count to twenty in your head. Chara doesn’t say anything – they just continue to knit, by the sound of things, though they definitely seem to be knitting a lot more ferociously than usual.

On twenty, you open the door.

Chara is sitting exactly where you left them, sitting on the bed. They don’t even glance up at your entry, just glaring at where their hands are knitting in a jerky fashion. They’re upset. Understandable.

You hover in the doorway.

“…What are you making?” you finally ask, shutting the door. Chara smiles slightly, though it’s bitter and the opposite of genuine.

“Sweater,” they answer flippantly. They look up at you and frown. “Asriel, why are you just standing there?”

You shrug slightly, shuffling forwards. Chara continues to stare at you, and only stops frowning once you reach the bed and sit down.

“Who’s it for?”

Chara looks a bit nervous at that, shrugging their shoulders and shifting.

“It’s for her,” they say after a couple seconds, seeming uncomfortable. “The human girl.”

The sweater, you notice, is the same colour blue as the girl’s dress and ribbon. You frown, but quickly change your expression to a neutral one when you notice that Chara is scrutinising you.

“Oh,” you say, because it would seem that you’re terrible with words. Chara’s still watching you and you panic slightly. “That’s nice?”

Chara bites their lip, slowing their needles and pushing the sweater away slightly.

“I hope it’s the right size,” they admit, teeth fiddling with their lip. “I, um, snuck out and saw her, but…” The shrug. “Not like I got any measurements, or anything.”

One thing in particular strikes you in that sentence.

“You saw her?” you ask, concern kicking in, because Chara doesn’t strike you as the type to react well to seeing a human. They nod, and you can see a bit of fear resting on their face. “Are you okay?”

Chara folds their knees up and wraps their arms around them, resting their chin on the top.

“No,” they say quietly, but when you open your mouth to comfort them they shoot you a glare. “But I don’t need your _pity_. I can deal with it fine, alright?!”

You blink and nod, because Chara is your best friend and if there’s one person in the world you trust, with anything at all, it’s Chara.

Chara shoots you a glance.

“How old is she?” they ask. You take a moment to try and remember what she said.

“Twelve,” you inform, trying for a small smile. “Just a year younger than us.” Chara looks like they themself are trying to remember something. You think you know what. “She’s new. To the village. She, uh, said her parents moved recently. She didn’t know not to go climbing up the mountain.” Chara looks at you with big eyes and you shift. “I… don’t think she’s one of the ones that hurt you.”

Chara looks at the sweater by their knees, needles halfway through a loop, and smiles bitterly.

“Okay,” they say. “But I still hate her. I’m just making her a sweater ‘cos I know it’s cold down here, and you guys are too fluffy to notice it.”

Chara picks up the needles and gives you an expectant look.

“Now, are you going to keep me company or not?” they demand, and you smile.

 

00

 

The girl moves in, and Chara refuses to leave their room.

“You can’t stay in here forever,” Toriel says when she’s come in to collect your laundry.

“Watch me,” Chara says, still knitting and refusing to look up. You sit awkwardly beside them, not sure whose side to take. Your mother hesitates before answering.

“I know it’s… hard,” she says, flinching when Chara abruptly looks up and glares. Chara looks guilty immediately, and Toriel relaxes. “And you don’t have to leave right away, my child, but… If you lock yourself in here, well… It’s not a healthy thing to do.”

Chara snorts and keeps knitting. You shoot your mother an apologetic smile.

“…Alright,” she says after a couple moments, seemingly giving in. She pauses on her way out. “Just… know that her name is Macy, and she’s not going to hurt you.”

Toriel leaves. Chara keeps knitting.

 

00

 

When Chara finishes, they push the sweater away with shaking fingers and take a deep breath. You look over.

“Do you… want me to give it to her?”

Chara bites the skin of their thumb, which makes you wince slightly.

“I’ll try to,” they say, looking as though they regret the words as soon as they come out. “You have to come with me, though,” they huff, and you nod.

“Of course,” you beam, and Chara hesitantly smiles back.

They aren’t smiling on the way, though. They grip your hand so tightly that they’re knuckles turn white, walking down the corridor beside you. Chara’s lip is bleeding from the way they’re biting it. About halfway to the girl – to _Macy_ ’s room, Chara shoots you a sideways glance.

“You’ve had a growth spurt, Asriel,” they comment unhappily, mouth quirking downwards on one side. “I don’t like it.”

“Am I… taller than you now?” you ask, smiling slightly, and Chara scowls, though there’s no real malice in it.

“Don’t let it get to your head,” they say, then their eyes drift onto something and they tense. “Is that…?”

You follow Chara’s gaze.

“Yeah,” you say, as Chara’s hand grips yours tighter. “That’s her room.”

Chara’s free hand moves over to the one gripping yours, and they only manage to scrape their fingernails up their arm once before you catch their hand as gently as you can.

“Don’t,” you say. Chara shoots you a half-hearted glare, and only then do you notice the bags under their eyes.

“Fine,” they breathe out after a second, prying the fingers you caught out of your hand and raising theirs to fiddle with their hair. “Let’s just get this over with.”

Chara stops fiddling and lifts up a shaking hand to rap sharply on the door three times.

“Coming!” you hear Macy shout from inside, accompanied by some sort of movement. As soon as you hear the footsteps coming closer to the door, Chara jerks.

“I can’t -” they gasp out, before ripping their hand out of yours and shoving the sweater into your arms. You blink, but then suddenly the door is swinging open and Chara is hiding behind you.

“Oh, hey Asriel,” Macy greets, smiling. “What’s up?”

You can feel Chara quivering behind you, pressed up against your back. You open and close your mouth a few times before getting the words out.

“This… is a sweater,” you state, and flush at Macy’s ‘well, _no_ ’ look. Sometimes she reminds you of Chara _so_ much. “And it’s been hand-knitted. For you.”

You awkwardly offer the aqua-coloured sweater to her, and Macy accepts it with a bemused look.

“Uh, thanks,” she comments, laughing slightly. “Did… _you_ make this?”

“Um, no,” you admit quietly. “Chara did.”

Macy pauses, tilting her head.

“Chara?” she repeats, as if wanting confirmation. When you awkwardly nods, she grins slightly. “The elusive Chara, huh? I’ve been down here a while and I’ve _still_ not met them. Not that I mind waiting. As far as I’m concerned, they can stay hidden as long as they want.”

You gulp.

Macy looks you up and down for a couple seconds, narrowing her eyes.

“Is there someone behind you?” She looks far too shrewd.

You make an undignified squeak and hurriedly reach out and pull the door shut. It slams a bit too loudly and you flinch, instantly feeling awful. Chara lets out a shaky breath behind you.

“Well,” they say, sounding as though they’re trying to act calmer than they feel. They move around to face you. “You weren’t very eloquent.”

“I panicked!” you state defensively, though both of you are grinning despite Chara’s obvious unease. “You just shoved it in my hands and hid, I had no time to prepare.”

Chara cocks an eyebrow.

“You have to _prepare_ for giving someone a _sweater_?” Chara teases, and you’re smiling until you hear the door creak open.

“Asriel? Who are you talking to?”

Macy stands in the doorway, of course. Her red, red hair tied into a braid, blue dress neat and clean. She’s very much human and very much terrifying Chara.

Chara lets in a sharp gasp, and when you look over they look simultaneously more and scared and more angry than you’ve ever seen them.

“Oh! Are you Chara?” Macy doesn’t seem to understand the situation. She moves towards Chara, hand outstretched. “I’m -”

“Don’t touch me!” Chara shouts, and Macy flinches back, looking confused and hurt. Chara’s breath is coming rapidly, chest moving in and out at an unnatural speed. They take a couple of shaky steps back.

Macy recoils, baffled.

“I – I’m sorry,” she says, but Chara shakes their head frantically.

“Asriel, I have to go,” they get out, before their panic overwhelms them and they run. You stare after them, poised to chase them but not sure whether or not they’ll want you to.

You glance at Macy, who is still standing with wide eyes.

“Are they -?” is all she gets out before your loyalty to Chara wins out. You shoot her an apologetic glance, and run after them.

 

00

 

Chara’s gone outside.

You chase after them as fact as having awkward paws will allow. It’s hard. Chara’s always been faster than you.

“Chara, slow down!” you call after them, but you just see Chara shaking their head wildly.

“Just go, Asriel!” they call behind them, but you can hear in their voice that they don’t mean it. “Leave me alone!”

You continue to chase them.

Chara only gets a little bit further before they trip.

“Chara!” you exclaim, catching up to where they’re lying on the floor. You blood runs cold as soon as you get close.

Chara’s ankle is twisted at an awkward angle, reminding you horribly of the first time you met them, when they fell down. They broke their whole leg, that time. This time, it looks like they’ve broken their ankle.

“Are you okay?” you ask, leaning down beside them, hands fluttering anxiously over them. Chara makes a cry of pain and you bite your lip, helpless to do anything as they sit up, tears running down their face.

“My – _ahh_ – my ankle,” Chara gasps out through heaving breaths, going pale when they catch sight of it. “Oh, _fuck_ , Asriel.”

“Language,” you say on autopilot, voice faint. “Oh, oh, Chara your ankle -”

“I _know_ ,” they interrupt, voice already raw. “Owowowow _ow_ , this _hurts_!”

 _It’s your own fault for running,_ you think, not meaning to say it out loud, but Chara shoots you an unbelievably dark glare and you awkwardly realise that you have.

“What I _supposed_ to do?!” they demand, eyes red and blazing. You shrink under their glare slightly, but answer anyway.

“Macy wasn’t going to hurt you,” you answer quietly, trying to stay calm despite the fact that you can literally _feel_ your heart pounding in your chest. “She’s just a kid.”

“I don’t _care_ if she’s a kid!” Chara shouts, voice hoarse. Whether it’s from the shouting or the crying, you can’t tell, and right now you don’t really care. “ _I’m_ a kid! Don’t _I_ get to be treated fairly?”

Tears trip down their face, and they look so completely miserable that you start crying yourself.

“You know, no human has _ever_ treated me like I worth anything,” Chara says, voice quieter but far more bitter. “I don’t _care_ that she’s a kid, because they _all_ just treated me the same. My parents, the adults, the _kids_ – they all just treated me like – like I was a demon.”

They look at you with such expressive eyes, angry and sad all at once, and you’re surprised that you can even see their face through the blurring of your own tears.

“Maybe they’re right,” Chara says, and you hear a sharp intake of breath that you quickly realise is your own. You open your mouth to say something, but Chara shakes their head. “No, Asriel. Just – I think they are. I’m a demon, or something. Oh, _god_. I mean I must be, right? Why _else_ would -?” They cut themself off with a sob, and you finally lean in and hug them.

You clutch Chara to you closer than you’ve ever clutched anything in your life, and as they bury their face into your shoulder you feel tears clogging in your fur within seconds.

“You’re not a demon,” you say, voice choked. “You’re my best friend, Chara, you’re not a demon.”

“Come on, Asriel,” they say, sounding so _tired_. “We both know I’m a bad person.”

“You’re not a demon, though,” you whisper, and you think that Chara’s too overwhelmed to answer. “The people in your village were wrong. They hurt you and they were _wrong_ , and it’s not okay, but – but you can be if you just remember that they were wrong.” You pause. “Chara?”

They are quiet for a couple seconds, and you start to worry that they’ve fallen asleep before they whisper something.

“Thanks, Asriel,” Chara says into your fur, and despite yourself you smile.

For several minutes, you just stay like that.

“We should… probably get you back to the castle, huh?” you finally say, leaning back. Chara looks hesitant to let you go, arms lingering, but one look at their warped ankle convinces them they need help. You bite your lip. “Your ankle seems pretty messed up, though. I should probably carry you.”

“Are you even strong enough?” Chara asks, and you huff.

“Yeah! Here, let me…”

You move to scoop them up, but Chara folds their arms and sighs.

“I’m not being carried like your dumb bride!” they exclaim, and you pull your arms back in.

“Okay, so… piggy-back?” you offer, only half serious, surprised when Chara nods.

“That’s… that’s okay, I guess,” they admit, leaning on you as they climb to their feet on their good leg. They bite their lip unbelievably hard, and you know that they must be in a _lot_ of pain right now. “ _Ugh_ , please be gentle.”

“I’m always gentle,” you comment gently, positioning your arms behind you. Chara haves themself onto your back with a lot of pained grunting from them and a lot of support from their end, and once they’re firmly on your back you’re extremely careful not to nudge their ankle. “And see? I _am_ strong enough to lift you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Chara grumbles, leaning their head on top of yours. “Prove you’re strong enough to get me back to the castle. If you are, I’ll knit you something. If not, _I_ get all your chocolate for a week.”

“No fair,” you complain, pouting, as you begin to walk forwards. At Chara’s instant wince, you slow your pace. Chara’s breath still sounds pained, but bearable. “You _like_ knitting, so it’s a win-win for you!”

“Then I guess for _you_ to win you’ll have to carry me _all_ the way back to the castle,” they announce, and you don’t have to be looking at them to know that their smug grin must be painted across their face. “It’s not even that far, but I bet you can’t do it.”

“I bet I can,” you announce. Chara laughs.

True to your word, you do.


End file.
